So let’s spill…pregnancy is just a roller coaster of, well, adventure I guess. Everything from the amazing craziness of a little body that is flipping around inside you to the most uncomfortable and even painful trials as your body continues to adjust in ways you didn’t think possible. I doubt anyone has ever escaped a pregnancy without having an embarrassing moment or two, or ten. I asked a group of women to be brave enough to share their worst stories and here they are, with permission of course, but no names to protect the uh, innocent. Oddly, most of them have the same subject matter, so I guess that tells you where to expect to let your dignity fly to the wind. Be sure to share your most embarrassing moment in the comments!
“The entire time I was in labor with my second baby I had terrible gas, like you could hear it on the monitors bad. And I kept hearing the nurses laughing…and I felt so awkward but what was I supposed to do?!?! Everything comes out when you’re having a baby!”
“My husband likes to tickle me and while I was pregnant he would tickle me and I would laugh so hard I would start crying and dry heaving and pee my pants.”
“I had a really strong contraction last week and peed myself. While having sex.”
“We’ve probably all had the belly-stain, when you find out at the end of the day that you’ve been walking around with food stains on your belly. I think I’ve done that one about 50 times. “
“I forgot to eat one morning during the second trimester during my internship. I was giving a health presentation in front of a big group of high school students and started to black out. Luckily I had a co-intern who I introduced midway through my presentation as if it were planned. Then I sat down with my head between my legs the rest of the class. None of the students knew I was pregnant so I bet I looked wacky.”
“When I got my epidural it numbed me and right after they gave it to me I had gas. I couldn’t feel it so I jumped and asked everyone, “WHAT WAS THAT?” My doctor couldn’t even keep a straight face.”
“Practically getting stuck in a public bathroom stall when opening the door because my belly was too big and the stall was too small!”
“I got so constipated while pregnant that I was in tears. I called my doctor and he told me step by step over the phone to crawl in the bath and sit on my knees while my husband held my hand and my doctor talked to me over the phone while I pooped in the bath.”
“I got so constipated from being on Zofran that I was impacted. I’m a medical assistant so instead of going to the ER I put on some gloves and dug it out. I can’t believe I’m telling this.”
“My midwives recommended we start perineal massages to help prevent tearing. My belly was too big for me to do it myself and the angle would have been all off, so my husband volunteered. Not even a minute into it he made a concentrated face that I thought was hilarious, and I started laughing. Now I don’t know how common of knowledge it is but when women almost 40 weeks pregnant start laughing, they usually pee a little. I did, right on my husband’s hand, and then I laughed even harder and couldn’t stop peeing. Thank god for having an understanding husband who saw the hilarity of the situation and forgave me for the mortifying experience, and also for waterproof mattress protectors.”
“I was 8 months pregnant in August in Florida. As soon as I’d leave the air conditioned house, I would sweat all.the.time. I had on some stretchy cotton pants, and I guess with being so sweaty down under my belly while sitting in the car, when I got out of my car to walk into the grocery store, I walked a few feet and my pants dropped to my ankles. And I was HUGE…like a house. I guess they’d just lost their elasticity somehow, LOLOLOLOLOL. I yanked them up as fast as I could and looked all around, just in time to catch EVERYONE in the parking lot trying to pretend they hadn’t seen my fiasco. I went straight inside to the bathroom and sobbed for 20 minutes.”
“Once I had to pee so bad after sitting through an entire movie at the theater at 8 months pregnant that I literally ran to the bathrooms when the credits started. I busted through the doors and ran into the first stall without even looking around. I started hearing weird noises a few seconds later and looked under the stall towards the sinks only to make the embarrassing realization that I had run into the men’s restroom. My husband had to come in and save me.”
“I was about 30 weeks pregnant with my first and went to use the bathroom. I started to hear leaking somewhere in the bathroom but looked around and couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. I stood up to wipe and my pee was ALL over the floor. I have no idea what happened. Maybe the pressure from my belly caused the stream to go straight out, hahahahaha.”
“While pregnant with my first we had to go get some stuff done on our car at a small dealership (warning: never use small dealerships bathrooms). The bathroom was so gross, I had to go so bad though. I hurried as fast as I could only to realize I missed the toilet. I peed all over myself. I couldn’t see past my belly to know if I was squatting enough to make it in the toilet though and there was no way I was going to sit on that toilet seat. I had to walk out in front of other people too. My husband thought my water had broke. Our car wasn’t quite done either so I had to wait with soaked pants.”
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